


Not Your Perfect Teen

by hot_chocolate_boy



Category: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29295780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hot_chocolate_boy/pseuds/hot_chocolate_boy
Summary: When Alice Woodward appears at Paul Matthews' doorstep in tears, Paul and Emma have to figure out how to help her.
Relationships: Hot Chocolate Boy & Alice Woodward, Paul Matthews & Alice Woodward, Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins, Ted Spankoffski & Alice Woodward
Kudos: 29





	1. Opening

“Ding dong!”  
The doorbell of Paul Matthews’ apartment buzzes throughout the rooms. 

Emma Perkins, Paul’s girlfriend, opens the door to see a teen girl, probably late 17, early 18, standing in front of her, sobbing, clutching to her pink cardigan.

“Um, hi. Did I, uh, get the wrong apar-apartment? I-I’m looking for Paul Matthews?”

Emma looks at the girl in front of her. She has long, light brown hair. She looks vaguely familiar, she has probably gone into Beanies before. By the looks of he,r she definitely gets some kind of sugary frozen drink, possibly with some dumb milk substitute. 

“Hey, Paul! Do you have a daughter or niece I don't know about? Like a high school secret or some shit?”

Paul runs into the living room and sees Alice standing in front of Emma. Alice is crying. Did Emma do that?

“Oh, no Emma. Nothing from high school, just Alice Woodward. Come on in, take a seat. I’ll be there in a second.” He directs Alice to the couch, where she sits in shock. 

“Who the fuck is Alice Woodward?” Emma whisper-shouts.  
“Bill’s daughter, I used to babysit her,” Paul replies. By the still confused look on Emma’s face, Paul doesn’t think Emma remembers Bill.  
Uh, he has come over once or twice. Oh! I go into Beanies with him a lot. He orders the Iced Caramel Frappe.”  
“Oh. Him. So why is his daughter sitting in our fucking living room?”  
Paul flinches at the usage of “fuck,” for he doesn’t know Bill’s rules on swearing, but Alice seems unbothered. He guesses that makes sense, considering she is a senior in high school with a girlfriend who probably smokes pot.

“I don’t know. Give me a minute.” Paul retorts.


	2. Why is There a Teenage Girl in my Fucking Living Room?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma gets to learn who the mysterious girl is, and why she is siting in her living room.

Paul walks to the closet and grabs a blanket out of it. He walks back and hands Alice a box of tissues, a water bottle, and the plush blanket.  
“Here you go, don’t mind Emma. She's always that cynical. But I’m gonna make you a snack because food makes things better. And I’ll let you settle in.”  
Alice gives a small smile at Paul through the snot and tears, while uncapping the water bottle.  
Paul walks over to the TV and pops in a mysterious DVD. From the looks of which, may or may not be pirated. But Paul may or may not notice that fact, because for some reason, a few years back, he actually trusted Ted to do something right.

The familiar and nostalgic Disney intro starts playing as Paul walks away, going into the kitchen. 

“So again, why the fuck is there a teenager in our living room?” Emma says, pinning her hair up into a seemingly complicated bun-like structure.  
“I babysat her most of her life. Up until probably a year or two before Bill’s divorce. By then she was old enough to stay home alone, and she didn’t want to be near all the fighting. But, I dunno why she is crying. I’m doing what I do when Charlotte breaks down over Sam. Make sure the basic needs are met, so everyone is calm. Then, ask for the story from the beginning. And Sam is almost always cheating on Charlotte with a girl named Zelda or some shit. But it works.” Paul finishes.

By then, Emma is done with her hair and grabs her ribbon-tie hybrid.

“Yeah. That checks out. And also that “Zelda” bitch is actually ‘prolly just Zoey. That Sam fuck-bag always shows up and stays for a really uncomfortable amount of time, and gives weirdly sexual looks to like-half the baristas. But yeah, just don't let her stay for too long, 'cuz I got shit to do after I close the shop”

“Cool, but we are definitely talking about the Sam issue after you close. Love you.” He gives Emma a kiss on the cheek as she walks into the living room.

Emma is met by Moana, that one Disney movie that she and Paul have, even though they both hate it. Like-why the fuck are they talking about coconuts?

“So you’re Emma?” The quiet voice from the couch murmurs.  
Emma turns around, apron and jacket in hand, and sees Alice, now curled up in a ball under the blanket Emma gave Paul covered in the many things wrong with the first Star Wars movie. He got a kick out of it when she gave it to him. For he wrote that list a while ago to prove Ted wrong. And to be frank- who wouldn’t try to do that.  
Emma glances at the near-empty bottle of water on the table and a small hill of used tissues, then back to the girl.  
“Yeah, I am. Paul filled me in on who you are. So why are you crying?”  
Alice looks at Emma for a moment before tears so silently stream down her face, and she turns her attention back to the TV.

Emma turns around and exits the apartment, somewhat shaken by the interaction.


	3. Back In Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul remembers the first time Alice arrived in tears, and we get a deep dive into the beginning of the end, for Alice's family dynamic.

Paul peeks his head over, looking at a far too familiar scene.

This isn’t the first time Alice has arrived at the front door, in a puddle of tears. He told Emma that this was how he calms Charlotte down from drinking, smoking, or hooking up with Ted in the supply closet. And yes, this is the method he uses, but it was developed and perfected for Alice.  
Her parents started fighting the day she turned 13 years old. And didn’t stop until the divorce chillingly close to Alice’s 17th birthday.  
All the other times she came over flooded back to him in a rush. Every few months, the fighting would be unbearable, and Alice would be on his doorstep, ready to fall apart. 

Alice had just turned 13, and she was so excited to watch Frozen with her family. But that isn’t how things went down.

She woke up and immediately got dressed. She was finally a teenager! Wow, in your face, Grace Chasity! She got on her most “teenagery” outfit, flipped her hair to the left side as much as humanly possible, and left her bedroom.  
Instead of a stack of pancakes and a pile of gifts, Alice was met with sharp whispers and some cereal on the table.

“Why the hell did you buy her that? We talked about this. We can’t afford this!” Alice’s Mom said in an aggressive tone, as she picked up and dropped a box in silver wrapping paper.  
Bill’s face morphed to become sad defeated, but his face lit up with fake joy when Alice made her presence known in the room.

“Happy Birthday Sweetheart!” Bill said, as he wiped away his dark circles, and straightened up his posture.  
“Yes, sweetie. You are a real teenager now. Are you excited?” Her mom chimed in and stood up to hug her daughter.  
Bill checked his watch and stood up as well, now holding the box.  
“Alice, sweetie, I wanted to give you your gift before heading off to work.

Alice tore away the silver paper and opened the box. She was met with a rose gold iPhone 5s. Her eyes seemed to grow to the size of saucers and looked at her parents. Bill had a kind expression on his face, while his wife had a furrowed brow while giving quick glares to Bill.

“Oh, my God, really?” Alice said as she started to hop up and down.  
“Yes. And of course, there are rules. Can’t be constantly on it. You already have me, your mother, your grandparents, and Uncle Paul in your contacts. And don’t text too much, because- wait does it still cost extra to text?” Bill grabbed his own phone out of his pocket and opened up Google.  
“No. Well, maybe. We’ll discuss it later. Love you, Sweetheart.” Bill gave Alice a kiss on the forehead, grabbed his back, and was out the door.

And soon, Alice followed for school.

And by the time she got home, she heard shouting from her apartment. She rushed in, scared if there was a robber, or shooter, or a robber with a gun? But no. She just saw her parents in a screaming match about who knows what. She ran to her room, not sure if her parents noticed her arrival. At this point, she had already started crying and hugged her stuffed bee as hard as she could.

But the screaming came through the doors. She definitely heard her name. Several times. And that didn’t help her tears, now choke sobbing, barely breathing. Not looking much like a “real teenager,” but a scared little girl.

Alice realized that she had a phone now. She unlocked the phone with the genius passcode 25423, which translates to Alice. She shook while opening her contacts, and clicked on “Uncle Paul.”

Paul picked up the phone and was overwhelmed with the current argument. He said into the phone “You’ll be okay. Come over to my place. You can get some peace. And I have a gift for you.” Before hanging up.

Around 10 minutes later, a short girl soaked by the rain appeared at the doorstep and threw her arms around Paul into a tight hug. He would never scream at her, or glare at something she was so happy for.  
“It’s alright Alice. Come over to the table. I have some cards for James Bond, and like 3 maybe stale cookies.” 

Yes. The cookies were stale. But Alice was gifted the first 3 infernal devices books. Alice was a fan of Cassandra Clare back in the day before all the sketchy stuff came out about her. Everyone was having a grand old time, until Alice’s phone rings.  
“Oh. It’s my dad. I guess the argument is over, and they finally noticed I was gone.

She picked up the phone. “Where on Earth are you?” Bill worriedly yelled into the phone.  
“I got scared by the yelling. I’m at Uncle Paul’s house. And I don’t wanna go home if you and Mom are gonna keep yelling.” Alice replied, tears already started to form in her eyes.  
“Alice. You need to go home. Now. You can’t just run off to Paul’s house whenever you get upset! You are coming home in 5 minutes. No buts, or whys. Now.” Her Mom yelled into the phone and hung up. Well, she now knew her parents were in close enough proximity for both of them to yell into the phone.\

“Come on Alice. I’ll drive you home. It’ll be fine.” Paul said as he grabbed his keys and a rain jacket. 

When they arrived back at the Woodward home, Paul noticed the slight shake to the walls, and cautiously opened the door, with Alice hiding behind her Uncle. 

They were both met with yet again, more arguing.

“Paul. Here. Take her to see the shitty snow movie.” 

Paul was taken aback by Bill’s words. Or the fact that he threw a $50 bill at him. Or both.

So, he did.


	4. Crying in the Choir Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice gives a brief explanation as to what went down with her and Deb. Paul prepares to tell a story.

Paul finishes frying up a cinnamon sugar tortilla concoction that Alice has always loved, and grabs a chocolate milk from the fridge.   
He walks into the living room and sets the plate and drink on the table, and grabs the used tissues and empty water.   
After quickly returning from the trash can, and washing off the tear and snot residue from his hands, he sits on the couch next to Alice. 

She grabs the remote and pauses the movie in between bites. And takes a slow breath.

“So, I’ve mentioned Deb before.”  
“That’s the… Stoner girlfriend, right?”  
Alice visibly flinches at the use of the word “girlfriend.”  
“Well, she... I caught her making out with Ziggs in the choir room today.”  
Paul just blinks at her, oblivious to who Ziggs is.  
“Oh. Ziggs is Ziggy. My nonbinary, well I guess not friend. But classmate? I went into the choir room and saw Deb, Ziggs, and Bee. And a random kid crying in the corner. But that doesn’t have anything to do with the story. But I saw them making out, and Bee tapped Deb’s shoulder, and she just laughed.” Alice said, and takes a sip of the chocolate milk so she won’t cry again.   
“Well, that really is quite shitty, isn’t it. I don’t know how to help you. But why did you come over here?”  
“Because.” Alice takes a bite out of her snack. “Dad hates Deb. He thinks she’s just no good. And the only other person in this god-forsaken town I can talk to is you.” 

Paul thinks about his next move very closely. He stands up and walks to the other room. Most normal people would be confused by his sudden exit, but not Alice. She learned from a very young age that Paul doesn’t exactly know how to excuse himself from a situation.

He comes back to the living room, with 2 hot chocolates. 

“Let me tell you a story.”


End file.
